View of Nice

Living in France as a Retiree: Part 1: Participating in Daily Life in France

In two previous TAIP posts (here and here), I explained all the steps needed to start a life in France as a retiree.

In the next three posts, I will explain what you need to take into consideration… very carefully. There are issues that may change your mind, much as you’d like to move to France. 

Public Transportation and Driving

In many parts of France, even in smaller towns, there will be some type of public transportation, even if it’s just a small bus. There are, however, areas such as small villages where buses may be scarce or even nonexistent, and in such cases you will need a car.

I live in Nice, in the city (albeit not downtown), and transportation is very good, especially the closer you are to the coastal area. As a senior citizen, you can get half off the monthly or yearly card. If you use buses and trams every day, transportation becomes very cheap. In a city like Nice, you can also walk to many places (good for your health!). Otherwise, one ride costs 1,70 €  — still not bank-breaking.

Paris and the surrounding areas have a fantastic transportation network: the famous métro, the very fast RER, and many SNCF trains further out to Fontainebleau or Beauvais (where there is a small airport mostly used by RyanAir).

If you need to drive (or just want to drive) and your US driver’s license is not from a state that has an agreement with France, after a year of residence you’ll have to get a French driver’s license. That is an expensive, time-consuming, and difficult proposition, albeit useful to understand French driving laws. If you don’t want to go through that, you need to plan at least a year in advance to obtain an accepted driver’s license, which could entail establishing residence in another state. You’d be surprised which states are not accepted, such as New York and California!

Note: Before you cancel your US car insurance, ask for a letter that shows your claims history (in theory, 14 years’ worth). Otherwise, you’ll be treated as a beginner driver when you buy a car and need to get insurance.

Participating in Demonstrations

Some of us are more political than others. We may wish to march in the street for a variety of reasons, but we have to be prudent when we are not in our own country (even in your own country you have to be careful, but that’s a different story for a different day). I read about an Italian semi-well-known person who was deported from France after she was seen demonstrating, even though she is a citizen of another European Union country; that surprised and worried me.

The good news is that French police are usually (not always) not too aggressive. I have seen demonstrations go by and the police remain close to observe in case of a problem. Otherwise, I have not seen them interfere.

Learning and Speaking French

If you never learned any other language than English in your life, it’s not easy to start learning French as an older adult. But if you are really motivated, you can reach a reasonable level of fluency. It will usually take several years. If you’re in a village with nobody around who speaks English, fluency will be achieved much sooner.

You cannot afford to be ashamed of your pronunciation or incorrect grammar. Practice is key, but so are good classes. It’s hard not to be discouraged when you are convinced you’re saying “une demi-baguette, s’il vous plaît” (a half baguette, please) correctly, and the boulangère (the baker or bakery lady) keeps on saying “Je ne comprends pas” (I don’t understand). Do try practicing “millefeuille” if you love Napoleons! 

There are classes for all kinds of budgets, from a private school in Villefranche to the free version of online language courses. Each person will find their fit according to their budget and learning style; more expensive doesn’t necessarily mean better, although some outlay of cash is necessary, as Duolingo, for one, only goes so far (but it’s a good start). 

Similar to Duolingo, there is Babbel, and several more. I have started using Skool, which has human instructors; this keeps you on your toes. Lawless French is another fantastic tool; Ms. Lawless is a stickler for grammar. Grammar is very important in French, and very complex. The main Lawless French site is free, and there is a paid Kwiziq add-on which is excellent (but don’t believe it when you are told that you have reached C1 level). And of course, there are many private instructors, in person or online. In the US, I used to teach via TakeLessons.

I’ve looked into YouTube videos, and it’s a mixed bag. Learn French with Alexa has proven useful to me as a French teacher. You can thank her by subscribing to her Patreon channel. Videos from some other creators had me seething with rage as they’re just clickbait.

Stay tuned for Parts 2 and 3 on health insurance and medical care as well as taxes and succession laws!

Photo of a view of Nice from a hill.

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overhead: rows of french books

If You Want to Learn French Before Moving to France, Start Here

Moving to France requires a certain level of organization, determination, and a willingness to embrace the piles of paperwork you’re required to show at the prefecture once a year (or less, if you’re lucky). But, one thing a lot of hopeful expats forget to do is something that has the power to improve your entire France experience: learn the language. Or at least try to.

It’s the exact opposite of what I did when I moved to France, and I’ve made it somewhat of my mission to encourage others not to be like me. 

Listen, you don’t need to be fluent. You don’t need to know how to conjugate the plus-que-parfait, or even know what that is (spoiler, I do not). But you will have a much better chance of actually interacting with and becoming friends with French people if you can carry on a simple conversation.

Not being able to order a coffee, ask a question in a grocery store, or communicate easily with your doctor will make your life difficult. Yes, it is manageable, and plenty of expats (in Paris in particular) get by without speaking much French. But learning the language will give you a much more fulfilling — and actually French — life.

So, as I embark on my mission of yes-you-should-learn-French-before-moving-to-France, I was thrilled to sit down with Manon, a French YouTuber and language teacher who recently interviewed Stephen and I for her channel.

Manon is the founder of Ohlala French Course and a fluent English speaker who understands the struggle of learning a second language from scratch. One of her programs, French Coffee, is one of the most helpful resources I’ve come across for people who are planning to move to France. Or, those who just want to feel more confident speaking French before they arrive for a trip.

It’s exactly what I wish I had done before I moved to Paris.

The Real Secret to Learning French

Is to speak it. Often. With native French speakers. 

Workbooks, podcasts, grammar guides, and apps like Duolingo can be helpful, but if you’re not speaking French with other people who speak French, you miss the most important piece of the puzzle. If you haven’t noticed it yet, it will become very obvious the moment you get to France. When you aren’t used to practicing, you’ll likely freeze up, forget vocabulary, and may not understand all of the “familiarity” native French speakers use that they don’t teach you in school.

Not knowing the language — or relying too heavily on English — can cause anxiety over phone calls, appointments, going shopping, or even running into your neighbor. I can’t tell you the number of times I have cried over a phone call that went badly because I couldn’t communicate.

On the flip side, when you do take the time to learn and practice, you’ll be able to have wonderful conversations, make new friends, and gain access to a side of France that doesn’t exist when you’re stuck behind a language barrier.

As we say often here at TAIP, it’s all about being curious and willing to try.

French Coffee for Real Conversations and Progress

But Molli, I don’t live in France yet, so how am I supposed to find people to practice French with?

This is exactly where French Coffee comes in. Manon created this weekly (!!) program to give French learners a chance actually to speak. It’s structured like a small, friendly coffee chat, except you get to hone your French skills with peers of the same level, with a native French-speaking teacher there to guide the conversation if needed.

When I asked Manon how she would describe it, she told me it’s “perfect for those who already understand French well, but can’t yet speak with confidence. It’s a warm, well-structured space, and really helps with oral expression.

Each session is held online and is organized by level, so you’ll never feel like you can’t keep up. You can talk about real-life topics with people who have the same level of French as you do in a format that feels casual, cozy, and… dare I say… fun? The groups are small enough that you’ll get plenty of time to speak too.

French coffee isn’t like sitting through a lecture at school, or awkwardly repeating vocab into an app (been there). It’s real conversation practice that will help build your confidence so you feel comfortable enough to speak up once you’re out in the real, French-speaking world.

Manon’s entire platform Ohlala French Course is full of thoughtful resources that range in time commitment and price. French Coffee is a great place to start if you’re moving to France anytime soon.

If you can’t communicate with the people around you, you’ll likely feel isolated and lonely. Moving abroad is already an isolating and lonely experience, so if you can do something to make it feel a little less lonesome, wouldn’t you?

Photo by The Now Time on Unsplash

Did you enjoy this article? TAIP is 100% reader-supported through tipping. If you want to leave us a tip of any amount it would be highly appreciated.  These tips help support our efforts to keep TAIP an ad-free environment. Just like at a cafe, the tips are split evenly among the team.

an old book with the words 'a french course for schools' written on it

The Mindset Shifts That Helped Me Learn French Faster

Way back in 2014, I moved to France with little more than a couple of suitcases, a dream of living in Europe, and about three words of French. When I first stepped foot off the plane, I had no idea how hard — and how rewarding — learning the language would be. The rewarding piece is important. Learning and then mastering French as an adult is truly one of my life’s greatest accomplishments.

As I went along, something I quickly realized was that my success wouldn’t just come from memorizing vocabulary or drilling myself with grammar quizzes.

It would come from changing how I approached the entire process. 

Here are the mindset shifts that actually improved and then accelerated my French that I hope can help you too.

1. I Embraced Embarrassment Instead of Fearing It

If you’re not new here, you’ve heard me say this about a million times: I’m shy! Even in English, my native language, I tend to lean more towards the reserved side of the spectrum. I used to fight against it, but now I embrace it. Just like I embraced being embarrassed by my French level instead of being afraid to even try. 

When I first arrived, almost every conversation ended in confusion or blank stares — mostly on my end. I got used to pretending to listen and then making an educated guess based on the person in front of me’s body language to determine whether I should respond with a half-hearted oui or non. It worked out about half the time.

Something that really helped me was the French as a foreign language program I took at Nanterre. It was enough coursework to qualify for the student visa, and I was able to learn French with peers at the same level as me. This opened up a whole new world of possibilities because I was no longer ashamed to try and practice — two crucial aspects of learning a new language.

I was always so embarrassed by my accent, but the truth is most French speakers find it charmant and I’ve also started leaning into that, 10+ years on.

2. I Prioritized Progress over Perfection

This is another aspect of learning French that was very difficult for me. I’m a self-proclaimed perfectionist, and honestly? You just can’t hold on to that when learning a new language, skill, or anything else you’ve never done before. If you wait for perfection, you’ll be waiting forever.

So, the next mindset shift involved me pushing perfectionism out of the way so I could keep trying — and be okay with making mistakes as I went along. One of my first big wins in France wasn’t making a flawless speech in front of a room of French speakers. It was being able to order a meal without stumbling over my words, accent or not. It didn’t matter that I may have gotten a verb tense wrong. What mattered was that I was actually communicating in French.

I started telling myself that as long as the person in front of me understood the gist of what I was trying to say, I was making progress. I have to laugh when I think back to some of the very kind people who just let me go on and on, even if I was using the wrong words or conjugations. This shift kept me moving forward even when my French was nowhere near “perfect.”

3. I Leaned into Feeling Uncomfortable

This mindset shift can really apply to the entire experience of moving to a foreign country where I knew no one and didn’t speak the language. And while yes, being uncomfortable most of the time wasn’t always great, the feeling I got on the other side of that was incredible.

My belief is that putting yourself in places outside of your comfort zone will only help you grow. The first time I ever left the US to do my semester abroad was a little scary at first, but the experience went on to change my entire life — something that would have never happened if I stayed in my hometown.

In those early days, every time I spoke French with actual French speakers, I felt super uncomfortable. Is everyone staring at me? Did I use the right verb there? Is my accent so heinous that everyone is trying not to laugh? Of course, thoughts like those crossed my mind, but I had to ignore them to improve.

Straining to pay attention to a conversation is uncomfortable. Making mental notes to remember what to respond is uncomfortable. Not being able to find the word you’re looking for is uncomfortable. Sitting there as everyone easily converses around you while you’re still stuck on something that was said 10 minutes ago… is uncomfortable.

But, I had to go through these moments to learn French. And the good news? I did it. I started feeling much more comfortable after that intensive year of French courses at Nanterre, which, when all said and done, at the end of that, I had already been in France for 3.5 years.

So, yes, it can take time. But, I went over knowing nothing and my first few years were spent in an English-speaking bubble. As soon as I made the commitment to myself to actually study, I saw improvement within just a few months.

And today, 10+ years after touching down to live in France, I can confidently say that I am a French speaker. My husband and I only communicate in French, same with all of my in-laws. Most of my French friends like to try out their English with me, so we end up speaking in a funny franglish or franglais when we’re together, but I get plenty of practice with them too.

I’m able to navigate different accents, converse on a variety of topics, read a French novel, and take care of all of my paperwork myself. Some of that is thanks to years of practice and effort, but a lot of it is also due to the mindset shifts that had to happen in order to improve.

Listen. If I can learn French, anyone can — prove me wrong.

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

Did you enjoy this article? TAIP is 100% reader-supported through tipping. If you want to leave us a tip of any amount it would be highly appreciated.  These tips help support our efforts to keep TAIP an ad-free environment. Just like at a cafe, the tips are split evenly among the team.

A French Classroom

How I Got a Job Teaching in France (and How You Can Too)

In the fall of 2023, I was heartbroken. I had just returned to the United States after two months in France. I spent the summer interning with a mission organization abroad and fell in love with the country in the process. I knew the only long-term cure for my heartache was to get back to France. But how could I do that for only another three months? No, it needed to be for longer, which would mean needing a visa. Getting a visa would mean needing a job, and how was I going to get a job in France? 

Such was my plight when I met a friend of a friend who taught French in New York. She told me about a program she had done in Paris called TAPIF. After I got back to Texas from visiting my friend, I did a quick Google search and learned that TAPIF stands for Teaching Assistant Program in France. I also learned that it would come with a French visa for the duration of a school year. 

TAPIF is the American Embassy’s face of a French government program that solicits young people from all over the world to teach their native tongue in French public schools. The program currently partners with 77 countries and in 2024 welcomed 2,992 language assistants to France from all over the world.

Who Can Apply for TAPIF?

TAPIF asks applicants to be American citizens (or green card holders) between the ages of 20 and 35 and to prove a B1 level of fluency in French. Also to be included in the dossier (French for “file”) is a letter of motivation for why they want to participate and a letter of recommendation from a teacher or mentor — both in French. No previous teaching or foreign experience is required, though it certainly helps with one’s likelihood of acceptance. For the 2018-19 school year, TAPIF boasted over a 55% applicant acceptance rate for 1,100 positions scattered across France. 

My Application Experience

Finding myself within the program’s age limit, applying was a no-brainer. There was just one catch… I was definitely not at a B1 level of fluency at the time. Discovering the program in October of 2023 and with an application deadline in January of 2024, I was left to go from an A1-ish to a B1 in two and a half months. Having never studied French in a classroom, I had no French teacher or college transcript that could vouch for my knowledge of the language. Therefore, I would need to prove my fluency by a formal test like the DELF. 

A little research led me to discover there was a B1 DELF test offered by the Alliance Français in Dallas on December 12th, about a 45-minute drive from my home. This would render my results at the end of December, just in time for the application deadline in January. I quickly signed up for a course to start the next week and studying French became my job (in addition to my other job).

Passing the DELF means navigating an oral production, oral comprehension, written production, and written comprehension section with a comprehensive score of at least 50%. My scores were far from perfect, but I passed and received my unofficial B1 certificate in time to submit the application to TAPIF. Once it was submitted, the waiting game began. 

What’s the pay?

A language assistant’s average work week consists of teaching for 12 hours in up to three different schools for a modest stipend of €1,010.67 per month. Aside from the visa, perks include France’s generous vacation schedule and a generally lighter workload than an American may be used to. Language assistants are not allowed to give grades or to assign homework, so outside work solely consists of preparing for classes. 

What’s the catch?

One of the more challenging aspects of TAPIF is that applicants have little say in what age students they will teach and where in the country they will live. Postulants are asked for their top 3 academies of the 26 in France (think school districts), if they prefer to live in a big city or the countryside, and if they prefer to teach primary or secondary school. TAPIF clearly states that preferences are in no way promised and if accepted applicants are asked to promise to do the program no matter what assignment they receive. It’s a big ask, but at the end of the day, they can’t force anyone to buy a plane ticket to France and I know people that have turned down their acceptance offer. 

Getting the news

News of acceptance was promised sometime in April, and in natural French style on May 1st I received an apology email that results were not to be expected for another two weeks due to the high number of applications that year. So after a month and a half of holding my breath every time I opened my email, I got the news. I was accepted. 

A few weeks later, at the top of June, I received my assignment to the Academy of Clermont-Ferrand, third on my list of preferences. Naturally, I started sharing the news with friends and researching about the city; however, this was mostly in vain. About two weeks after that, I received news of the department I would work in, the name of one of the three schools where I would teach, and the contact of my liaison for the school district. The Haute-Loire department where I was placed could not be farther from Clermont-Ferrand. At first, I was upset, but on further research of the little town I was placed in, I realized I might not have it so bad. 

Le Puy-en-Velay, though little known by most French people, is a wonder for its beauty and history. The town is a medieval starting point for the Chemin de St. Jacques-de-Compostelle, aka the Camino, and boasts a 12th-century cathedral to match. It has a lively center and attracts artisans of all kinds for its beauty. Though admittedly remote, the landscape is spectacular, with surrounding views for nature lovers like myself. And even better, the level of English here is relatively low, so I am happily forced to use and grow my French vocabulary every day. In terms of a genuine French experience, I won the jackpot with TAPIF. 

Final Thoughts

For obvious reasons, this is not a program for everyone. Though possible, it is not practical to do with a spouse, much less with a family. TAPIF recognizes its salary is scarcely livable for one person and even then, they recommend having a few thousand in savings to make the move and enjoy any additional travel. That being said, it has been an excellent way for me to give living in France a go, and to have a fast-track for gaining employment as a non-native. Each year applications are open from mid fall to late winter. 

To learn more about TAPIF, its requirements, and this year’s deadlines visit their official website here.

Photo is of a French classroom from my first school visit.

Did you enjoy this article? TAIP is 100% reader-supported through tipping. If you want to leave us a tip of any amount it would be highly appreciated. These tips help support our efforts to keep TAIP an ad-free environment. Just as at a cafe, the tips are split evenly among the team.

a bookshelf of english and french books

Raising Children — Bilingually? Part 2

Note from the editor: If you haven’t already, be sure to read Raising Children — Bilingually? Part 1 before jumping into Part 2. — MS

Bilingual Native-Language Acquisition

Children who are brought up bilingually will acquire two native languages according to the same processes as children who acquire language in a monolingual environment. 

All children, whether they are brought up in monolingual or bilingual situations acquire language passing through the one-word and two-word stages as they build up language proficiency. However, bilinguals must learn to distinguish between two different streams of language and then develop their language accordingly. 

Whether due to early non-discrimination or to the difficulty of acquiring first words, children in the early one-word sentence stage in a bilingual situation will use either language without differentiation according to whom they are speaking. This is comparable to monolingual language acquisition, where children do not acquire synonyms immediately, sometimes hypothesized as a measure of efficiency in the language acquisition process.  At about the same time as when monolinguals start using synonyms, the bilingually-raised child then begins to use equivalents separately. This means that there should be no fear of a child’s ultimately “mixing” languages as long as caretakers specifically take heed not to mix languages themselves. What children hear, they imitate. 

Brain Studies and Cognition

Studies of brain functioning in bilinguals have been and are still being carried out extensively. After much research into language competence, it is generally accepted that bilinguals have a single, integrated language system. 

Also, “language and cognition may not be processed separately in the brain; instead they interact with and facilitate each other… Bilingualism appears to be associated with more effective cognitive control, particularly with executive control and executive function (EF) abilities.” (Higby et al.)

Experience with two languages tends to lead to greater cognitive efficiency. Bain has carried out a longitudinal study comparing two bilingual children and two monolingual children using cognitive testing as set up by Piaget and Vygotsky, He concludes that the bilingual brain is a better tool for learning. 

Children learning two languages from infancy are not impaired cognitively or academically. It may even be possible to conclude that bilinguals have superior language skills as well as other cognitive abilities as compared to those of monolinguals. For example, it seems the tendency for bilinguals to be better in mathematics than monolinguals might be due to their having learned to handle abstraction from an early age. For a monolingual, the object “bed” and the word /bed/ are bound together such that the word is the thing. Piaget once asked five-year-olds to give him a long word, and many of them answered “train.” On the other hand, a bilingual has learned that the object can be called either /bed/ or /li/; words, which are abstractions, are thus separate from the objects they designate. 

Code-Switching and Interference

That a bilingual’s two languages co-mingle in a single language system where both languages remain continually activated implies possible alternation between the two languages. One language needs to be inhibited when speaking in a context where the other language is being used. This imperfect separation leads to code-switching when bilinguals speak among themselves or to interference when speaking in a monolingual situation. The former refers to using elements of a different language within the speech stream of the language in which an exchange is taking place. In this case, these elements are not affected by the host language. “Interference” is the transference of elements of one language to another at various levels, namely phonological, grammatical, lexical, and orthographical. In this case, the foreign elements are modified to fit the host language (Amenorvi). Alternation in the case of code-switching is considered to be positive as it often refers to language choice; however, interference is viewed as negative as it is often involuntary.

The abundant code-switching observed in conversation between and among bilinguals has led to the recently developed concept of “translanguaging” whereby bilinguals express themselves across languages to best communicate nuances that may not exist in both languages. 

Bilingual communication may lead to what is referred to as “negotiation of language” whereby each participant tends to pull exchanges toward their preferred language. This can often be observed between children preferring to speak in the majority language as they converse with a parent or grandparent whose preference is the minority language. Often when my son came home from French public school, totally immersed in French, he immediately began telling me about his day in French. Pulled in this direction I found myself responding in French until at some point I had difficulty making my ideas clear in this language and wondered why I was even trying to do so. I then switched to English, pulling him in that linguistic direction.

Life-long Bilingualism

As bilinguals grow older their language experiences modify their language use. Language dominance may change over time, as they use one language more than another. They may learn other languages, or they may lose some ability in one of their languages, known as language attrition. Language dominance and attrition are dependent on language exposure and can evolve: more exposure at a given time will improve language ability, reduced exposure can lead to more or less attrition. Losing some vocabulary, for example, in a native language that is not being used, is not unusual and not to be worried about. Increased exposure would bring renewed competence. 

More and more research is being carried out on the relationship between bilingualism and dementia. It would seem that “actively using two languages seems to have a protective effect against age-related dementia.” The lifelong usage of two languages contributes to neuroplasticity and has been shown to delay cognitive decline “with a delayed age at onset of dementia” (Kamenetz). Furthermore, older bilingual adults are better able to cope with the pathology of neurodegeneration. One study shows that should bilinguals with dementia present greater neurodegeneration, their cognitive performance remains comparable to monolinguals with dementia. The hypothesis is that “Bilingualism recruits alternative brain networks to compensate for those that become damaged during aging and dementia (Marian and Shook, 2012). There would then exist a greater cognitive reserve to enhance brain functioning during aging. 

Some Anecdotes

I was very strict in my use of English until my son became much older and we fell into code-switching modes. When visiting friends, I even read French-language children’s books to him in English, at least until the simultaneous translation became too difficult. Once, friends remarked, “We didn’t know we had English books in the house.”

When bicycling in Finland with my two-year-old, and not keeping very regular meal hours, one day my son called out, “Mommy. Eat, mange.” Clearly, he was using every linguistic tool in his possession to cry out his hunger. It was definitely time for lunch. 

Once, when chatting with my neighbors, my three-year-old turned to me and asked, “Can I go to Maryse’s?” I said, “Ask Maryse.” He then turned to her and asked, “Je peux venir chez toi?” After her responding, “Oui,” he turned back to me saying, “She said ‘yes’.” 

When coming home from kindergarten with my son one day, we stopped at a Chinese take-out to get lunch. As the server prepared our dishes, she complimented my son on his bilingualism. I immediately asked her what language she spoke with her own little boy I had seen behind the counter. Looking down and hiding her face she responded, “Mandarin,” as if she were ashamed. I immediately launched into compliments on how wonderful she was to speak to him in Mandarin and the fantastic effects on the brain of being brought up in two such different languages. By the time our food was ready, she was standing much straighter and smiling broadly.   

If any of a child’s caretakers speak a native language other than French in this country, I implore you to speak with them and play with them in your own native language. It can only serve them well.

Photo of our bilingual bookshelf.

Did you enjoy this article? TAIP is 100% reader-supported through tipping. If you want to leave us a tip of any amount it would be highly appreciated. These tips help support our efforts to keep TAIP an ad-free environment. Just as at a cafe, the tips are split evenly among the team.

two wedges of cheese and scrabble pieces spelling out cheese and fromage

Raising Children — Bilingually? Part 1

Language choices in a mixed native-language family or one whose native language(s) is not that of the majority culture surrounding them

 

New country, new language, and maybe new family? Language, then, becomes an important issue. When two people get together they fall into what is a comfortable language of communication. However, when children come along, linguistic decisions, what is referred to now as Family Language Policy, need to be made as to their all-important language acquisition.

Some of the important questions to help plan for children’s linguistic upbringing include:

  • What language(s) do the parents speak together where French is the majority language of this relatively monolingual country?
  • What are their native languages?
  • Does one of them speak their native language when they are together?
  • Or do they speak a language of communication that is the native language of neither of them?
  • How well do they speak the majority language?
  • How important is it that the children learn each of the parents’ own native language?
  • And thus, what language(s) will the children be brought up with, and how? 

If at least one of the parents, or grandparents does not speak the majority language as a native speaker, the question of raising children bilingually is brought to the fore. 

Having carried out my thesis on child bilingualism and raising my son to be bilingual such that he has two native languages, this article is a continuation of my decades-long crusade to raise children bilingually in France because bilingualism matters.

Bilingualism as a Native Language

Long before Ronjat’s (the grandfather of child bilingualism) 1913 publication of Le Developpement du Langage Observé chez un Enfant Bilingue he had asked his own professor how to raise a child bilingually. The answer, which was “one person, one language,” has been the recommendation for parents ever since.

“Never switch roles. In this manner they will begin to speak two languages without noticing it and without having to put forth any special effort in learning them” (In: Bain Bruce 1996, p. 177). 

Although there has been some controversy on the subject, it remains that children need to anchor, in some way, a separation of the languages they are learning. Obviously, this differentiation will be inherent in their linguistic environment. For example, one caretaker might speak the majority language (the language of the community outside the home) and the other the minority language (a language different from that of the outside community). There should be no mixing in the caretakers’ language(s) so that the child will learn to keep the languages separate, even though language itself is learned as a whole. 

Raising Children Bilingually in a Monolingual Environment

Until recently, and somewhat even still, the typical attitude in France toward bilingualism (in spite of Ronjat) has been “Against.”

As of 30 years ago and much further in the past at least in the 70’s, when I was writing my thesis, how often was it said that children being brought up bilingually never learn their two languages well, that a second language would negatively affect the child’s French?

Of course, this was all hearsay in a language-political context where the French were defending their language against English as the language of communication. I remember when a very respected researcher in language acquisition, a friend of mine and a direct student of Piaget’s, said when my son was born, “Bilingualism doesn’t really exist.” I did not rise to the argument, but then what will we call it when people speak more than one language fluently? Obviously, she was thinking in terms of perfection; but then, how many monolinguals speak their (only!) language ‘perfectly’? The most widely used definition for bilingualism is Grosjean’s: “bilingualism is the use of two or more languages… in everyday life.” 

In fact, globally, there are more bilingual situations than monolingual ones, typically where in a country more than one language is spoken. This means that France is an exception rather than a rule. And then, when we think of France’s colonization in Africa, it was never asked whether it was good for children to learn French in addition to their heritage language. It was taken for granted that learning French could only be good for them. As Bain suggests, the results of research concerning whether bilingualism is positive or negative can be politically and ideologically motivated.

Language Ability

The question of children’s ability in their two languages is more complex than what has been suggested above.  Bilinguals are not just two monolinguals put together. Their ability in the two languages is rarely equal. Only exceptionally are children what I have heard called “perfectly bilingual,” sometimes called “balanced bilinguals” and which is what Valdes calls “mythical bilinguals.” Typically we will speak of a dominant language, the language the child is most proficient in, and the non-dominant, or weaker language. And even in this case, a bilingual can be more proficient in one context in one language and another context in the other language. 

Bilingualism is not just a question of Linguistics; Sociology and Psychology are also important factors in its development. From a sociological point of view, it is easier to raise a child bilingually French-English in France than, let’s say French-Arabic or French-Swahili. English is considered an “important” language and is encouraged in discrete ways. For example, I have had people stop me in the street with my three-year-old and say how wonderful it was that he would be bilingual.

On the other hand, I have never seen (nor have my students when I asked) people stopping in the street to compliment a mother speaking Arabic, Bambara, or Hindu. On the one hand, the child is receptive to compliments on their language ability, and on the other, parents are discouraged by school teachers to speak a language other than French to their children, especially when it is non-occidental European. And even for English, I was sometimes told to speak French to my child. No way would I listen; furthermore, I would give the person a half-hour lecture on child bilingualism. No one ever made the same suggestion twice. 

Sometimes children, however, refuse the minority language. Typically they are influenced by those around them and do not want to feel “different” from others, or rejected for the home language they might speak. In this case, the recommended course is to stubbornly continue to speak the minority language with the child even when they refuse to answer in that language. This creates what is called “passive bilingualism,” where the child understands but cannot/does not speak the language. The best way to improve competence in the minority language,  and to help the child to become an active speaker, is to take the child to a country where the minority language is spoken as the majority language. What typically happens then, is that the child will pick up the language very quickly, in fact in as little as a few weeks. 

Otherwise, it is important to try to bring the child in contact with people other than the parent who speaks the minority language. Reading to the child in the minority language is very important for language learning. Videos, too, help the child to advance their minority-language learning.

Stay tuned for Part 2, in which doli will cover how age, the brain, and cognition play a role in raising children bilingually.

Photo taken of arguably one of the most important words in French and English.

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My First Three Months in France

This is part of a series of articles about the final days of preparing for moving to France and what happens when you get here, and those articles are part of a promotional series launching our new book, 29 Days to France, a book that all the writers wish they had had before we started our French adventures.  It’s now available for preorder, and those preorders come with a free 15-minute Q&A personal session about your French immigration plans.  Click here to learn more.

As a human being it goes without saying that I am possessed of my share of vices, but until moving to France jealousy was not usually one of them. In America at least, where every desire has been commodified and put on clearance, most of what we want or are told to want can be afforded by the average person, or got anyway on credit. But here, every French person, no matter how humble or poor possesses something which can’t be bought for any price: the ability to speak.

Even the small five-year-old on the street babbling to his mother about Père Noël filled me with envy. If only I could speak as well as a five-year-old, what high social circles would I then be soaring in?

In fact I had started studying informally even before my arrival. I did all the usual suspects like Coffee Break French, French in Action, and Comme une Française. I was sure I must have learned something, but whatever it was seemed to evaporate immediately the instant I needed to use it.

Once in France I re-doubled my efforts with Pimsleur, iTalki, and online courses from l’Institut Francais. When I wasn’t studying I had the news playing in the background. Whether I was desperately trying to learn it, or desperately trying to avoid having to use it, the French language became a ceaseless obsession.

Surprisingly along the way I felt I was learning as much about my native tongue as anything else. I was astounded to realize just how much we say with so little, and by comparison, how little I could communicate in French even with the substantial vocabulary I had theoretically memorized.

I was well aware of the cautionary tales of those who had moved to France, proceeded to surround themselves with a circle of Anglophone friends, and found themselves three years in without having ever made progress in the language. I was well aware of these cautionary tales because like anyone else in my situation, I had sat around in America watching expat YouTube for months on end before I arrived.

In my utter lack of perspective I concluded this was a serious hazard very much to be avoided. But I wasn’t long in France before I changed my mind and decided I could probably survive the risk of being ensnared by a cloistered group of Americans, if only it meant having a normal conversation for once. I told myself that the acquisition of a new language is a long-term undertaking and at each stage there has to be some concession to reality.

I got on Meetup. I created a Facebook account for the first time in my life. I was soon meeting exchange students, au pairs, and expats from all around the world. No matter how wildly different our backgrounds, as foreigners in France we all had at least one thing in common over which we could bond. We commiserated about the various idiosyncrasies of French life and regaled each other with our humorous stories of language failures and disaster.

I even encountered that breed of person, the complete inverse of myself, and strangely not so uncommon as might be imagined. Whereas I was waiting for perfection to say anything in French, they seemed to have started from day one with complete self-assurance. With little apparent concern for when, or if ever, their speaking abilities would catch up, they daily set off and traipsed unfazed through language landmines I had hitherto believed impossible to survive. Their willingness to place themselves into precarious situations meant they had faced far more difficult challenges than I had, and yet here they were, alive and still in good spirits.

“How could this be?!” I wondered in amazement. That almost seemed like cheating. But far from being jealous, I came to greatly appreciate these acquaintances and the many other types I met as well. From them I learned the important lesson that confidence and competence do not always walk hand in hand.

As I wasn’t expecting to achieve fluency much earlier than I was expecting to attain nirvana, this came as a significant relief.

My own meager confidence improved almost immediately simply by seeing that my predicaments were hardly unique. Even if I went alone to the barber shop, the doctor’s office, or the immigration bureau, I was no longer alone in an existential sense. I was buoyed by the knowledge that I was in good company, that others had tread these paths before, and that, so far as anyone could remember, no one had died from using the wrong verb tense at any of these places.

With this reassurance I found myself becoming less flustered, even though my ability to speak hadn’t changed at all. And in a virtuous circle, feeling slightly more at ease helped considerably with speaking.

Elsewhere in life, I had begun traveling weekends to visit the glorious gothic cathedrals of northern France. In a further sign of changing perspectives I had a surreal experience when I returned from my first trip out of town. Greeting me as I exited the train station back in Amiens were all the same sights I had encountered on my first day in France: the vaulted glass canopy of Place Alphonse, the Tour Perret, the neon Ferris wheel, and the slippery beige stones of La Rue des Trois Cailloux.

All the emotions and memories of that first introduction were brought to mind anew, only now all that had been so recently foreign was tinged with the warm glow of familiarity. No longer was this little town an unknown dot on the far side of the globe. Indeed, just at the other end of Three Pebble Street, and waiting for me to come in from the rain, sat my cozy apartment.

I was home.

Photo taken as I exited the Amiens train station on my first day in France.

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How to Get a Long-Stay Visa for France Through French Lessons

While it would be nice if Americans were able to live in Europe visa-free, it’s not the case (one can dream that it will be someday, right?). If you’re from the US and want to live in a country like France for more than 90 days, you’ll need to apply for a long-stay visa (known as the VLS-TS) first.

If you don’t have family or a French spouse, there are (to really simplify things) two ways you can live in France legally as a non-European: through work or school. 

I’ve already touched on how to obtain a student visa for France, but this “hack” is for those of you who are more interested in improving your French skills rather than going to a university.

What Kind of French Classes Get You a Long-Stay Visa for France?

If you’re like me, you cringe at the thought of going back to school. Maybe you finished your undergraduate degree and thought to yourself “Never again!” Or, maybe you’ve gotten as far as your master’s or doctorate and there isn’t much university-level schooling out there for you. Or, hey, maybe after high school you decided to go straight to work.

As someone who never thought she would ever go back to school after my undergrad, I eventually did get my master’s degree here in France. But, that’s another story for another day. In between being an au pair and enrolling in my master’s program, I did one year of intensive French classes. And, those classes enabled me to get a long-stay visa for France.

For a bit of background, once I did ultimately decide to go for my master’s degree, I knew I needed to improve my French for a few different reasons. First of all, I wanted to be able to intelligently engage in a conversation with a French person. I also knew that in whatever master’s program I enrolled in, I would be required to understand, speak, and write at least basic French (a level I had not yet reached after living here as a nanny). Plus, if you want to go to a public French university as a foreigner, you need to prove that you have at least “B2” level French. 

B2 refers to a level in the “Common European Framework of Reference” (CEFR) scale for languages. It is used to assess people’s language levels and ranges from A1-C2. Here is a breakdown of the different levels for French:

  • A1: Beginner
  • A2: Elementary 
  • B1: Intermediate
  • B2: Fluent
  • C1: Advanced
  • C2: Bilingual

To be honest, whether or not you want to continue on to a master’s or doctorate program if you plan on living in France for an extended period of time, you should try to obtain at least a B2 level. 

The good news is, an intensive French language program will get you that student visa you’re after whatever level you’re at! Here is what is required:

Once you’ve found your dream program, you’ll have to go through the steps of applying for a student visa for French. I’ve mapped out everything you need to know here.

If you’re in Paris, I did the FETE program at Université Nanterre (yup, that Nanterre. Any other 20th-century history buffs out there?). It’s located just outside of the city to the west. I recommend it to anyone who is interested in improving their French. The classes are a mix of speaking and writing as well as cultural classes. Fieldtrips include visits to Parisian museums and landmarks, how cool is that? There is also a similar option at La Sorbonne

If you’re not in Paris, simply take a look at the list of FLE-accredited schools I linked above!

Some Things to Remember if You Want to Renew

If you plan on spending just one year in France and know that you won’t need to renew your visa, you can skip the next section.

If you already know that you’ll want to extend your time in France after one year, there are a few things to keep in mind:

  • You need to pass the school year in order to renew. That means you’ll have to take school seriously. Attend all of your classes and study for your tests. Stay on good terms with your professors as well.
  • Make sure you have a plan for what you want to do next. Do you want to continue with intensive French courses until you’ve achieved C2? Do you want to enroll in university? Remember, for the latter, you’ll need at least a B2 level.
  • Start gathering the paperwork you need to renew 4-5 months before the end of the school year. You’ll need to schedule your renewal appointment at least 3 months before your visa expires.
  • As a general note concerning all French visas: keep everything. That means bank statements, cell phone bills, copies of your lease, or a letter from the person who is housing you saying that they are housing you. You’ll need all of this plus proof that you passed the school year. 

Disclaimer: I’m not giving you permission to slack off or stop going to school if you don’t plan to renew your visa. My advice? Take advantage of the fact that you’re in France learning French. It’s the best way to learn a new language, and you’ll have the opportunity to speak French with actual French people. Don’t throw away an opportunity like that.

Molli offers private consultation services which range from help with visas and adjusting to life abroad to Paris travel itineraries. Fill out the contact form to learn more.

Photo by Faisal Waheed on Unsplash

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Why Study Abroad in Paris?

My first visit to France was with my family when I was thirteen. We were the classic sweaty tourists in late-July Paris, dragging ourselves from monument to museum. But I loved old buildings, narrow streets, and outdoor cafés — everything we walked by was tinged with foreign magic. And when we met French friends of my father who had a daughter my age, I knew I would be back.

I kept studying French and visited over a few high school summers, but I was waiting for study abroad so I could live in the city. It would be my chance to speak French until my accent didn’t mar my words. My chance to drink wine in cafés, take the métro to non-touristy neighborhoods, and meet real Parisians.

While I had a few specific reasons why I wanted to study in Paris, it was less of a rational choice and more of an emotional one. I’d been in love with the city for so long, that the thought of spending time there was a dream come true. Here are some of the more (and less) concrete reasons why I chose Paris:

To Speak French

The easiest way to get better at a language is to speak it, hear it, and live it. I already knew this from the time I’d spent with our French friends, and I also knew I needed more practice before I could be anywhere close to fluent. Since I’d started studying French in middle school, speaking it was a comfortable challenge — something I’d already made progress in and knew I wanted to keep working on. Of course, there are other study abroad programs in other French cities, so my other reasons for choosing Paris are specific to it.

To Spend Time in a Beautiful City

If I ever make a list of stunning cities, Paris will be near the top. The historic buildings, tree-lined boulevards, myriad gardens, the Seine cutting through the city and forming two surprise islands — it’s hard to argue against these aesthetics. What’s more, because it was built before cars were invented, Paris is highly walkable (assuming you’re measuring within the bounds of the périphérique). Even better, as you make your way through the city, each neighborhood has a distinct character.

To Learn More About French Culture

American media has a tendency to idealize French culture — carelessly beautiful women, artists in cafés with their endless cigarettes, fine wine, renowned food. It all adds up to a half-glamorous, half-bohemian lifestyle that had me entirely enthralled.

While the rational part of me knew French life couldn’t be this dreamy, I’d fallen for it years ago. What was most fulfilling about my study abroad experience was deepening my relationship — I took a course on architecture in which we toured the city and visited specific buildings. And another on theater where we read French plays before seeing them performed in a variety of venues. Rather than being on the outside of the city looking in, I was immersed in its offerings.

You Never Know What Will Happen

No, this isn’t the part where I say I fell in love with a Frenchman who is now my husband. My study abroad program had us take a single course at a French university while the rest of our school time was with the American cohort. This meant that we glommed together and spent most of our time wandering Paris and speaking English in a sort of extended tourist outing.

I was lucky in that I already had two French friends, and I was able to tag-along to their truly “French” life. While I did spend a good amount of time exploring the city, I only lived in Paris for one semester — from September to mid-December. In order to have truly felt like I was committing to this adventure, I would’ve needed to stay longer. This is one of the reasons why I decided to move back in 2018 and have another go.

When I think back on my study abroad experience, it’s a distant blur. But I’m grateful for the way my French improved and all I learned about the city. And instead of worrying that I didn’t make the most of my time, I see my experience as a stepping stone to my current Paris life.

If you’re thinking about studying abroad in Paris, it might be helpful to make a list of reasons why you’re attracted to the city. Is it to speak French? To have access to its museums and rich cultural history? Or simply to go on an adventure? What’s your why for studying abroad in Paris?

Photo is from a French classroom which will be dramatically different from a US university setting. 🙂

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The Myth of “Fluency”

Americans abroad sometimes beat ourselves up often on behalf of our fellow countrymen other times because of our own perceived shortcomings.  One of these is the famous lie: “Well everyone in Europe speaks at least 2-3 languages fluently.”  I’ve found this to be mostly a myth, for any number of reasons.

It is true that Europeans take up a 2nd and sometimes even a 3rd language outside of the language that they speak at home.  But Europeans are humans, like the rest of us, and fluency is like anything once attained, it must be maintained.

On the ferry from Morocco back to Spain some years ago I struck up a conversation with a Danish family.  We talked about socialized health care (Obamacare was much in the news at the time) and came on to education.  “What is she learning as her third language?” I queried.  “German.”  I was surprised I know they are geographically proximate but German is really only spoken in a couple of countries.  I didn’t want to ask why so I simply asked how she was doing.  “Ask her,” the father smiled.

“How’s your German?” I asked the 11-year-old.  She answered haltingly in her 2nd tongue, English: “I…it’s okay.”  “Do you practice with your friends who are also learning German?”  “No,” she admitted honestly, making a face that betrayed only slight shame, almost as if to say that practicing a non-native tongue with friends learning that same non-native tongue would be unusual.

Fluency, strictly speaking, is the ability to converse quickly and at a high level, within a language.  Fluency comprehends a large vocabulary, appreciates and can deliver puns, and has fun with wordplay.  It also has the ability to engage in high-level discussions say about the existence of God or the start of the universe.  I would never call someone fluent in a language who kept asking me the word for “planet” or “cosmos” or “uncaused cause.”

I might call them conversational those who can express themselves enough to order food, ask for directions or talk about basics about themselves.  Sometimes this brings with it a semi-literacy an ability to read signs and some announcements, but not enough to read an editorial in the local newspaper.

My most recent trip to Vienna left me with a few new friends, one of which was now a teacher in Vienna who confessed to me during our 30 km bike tour of the city that he had learned Italian and English in school but had lost them both.  I told him quite emphatically that his English was very impressive despite his not being a regular speaker.

While a big part of my mission during my time in France has been to attain fluency in this language, I have over the years come to appreciate even knowing a few words in any language.  The doors to another culture can open themselves so widely in just a few words.  We talked about the fact that the ß (eszett) in German is not often used.  “Indeed,” he replied, “the Swiss use a double s in its place.”  This is true, the Swiss are quite practical.  They use septante and huitante and nonante to denote 70, 80, and 90, respectively.  What do the French use?  soixante-dix (60 and 10, literally), quatre-vingt (four twentys, seriously), and quatre-vingt-dix (yup, four 20s and a 10, like you’re counting out change).

What I mean to get at is if you cannot attain fluency in a second language (or a third, etc.), don’t beat yourself up.  Many claim fluency in a second language, but what they mean is that they are conversational.  Someone who can seamlessly transition from language to language, preserving an accent native to that language, is rare.  And they are probably in diplomatic work.  The rest of us make do with “comment dit-ton” until we can get there.  And hey what’s the harm in working on fluency in your native tongue?  I daresay we’d see better grammar and spelling in our business and personal emails if we put that effort in! 🙂

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