overhead: rows of french books

If You Want to Learn French Before Moving to France, Start Here

Moving to France requires a certain level of organization, determination, and a willingness to embrace the piles of paperwork you’re required to show at the prefecture once a year (or less, if you’re lucky). But, one thing a lot of hopeful expats forget to do is something that has the power to improve your entire France experience: learn the language. Or at least try to.

It’s the exact opposite of what I did when I moved to France, and I’ve made it somewhat of my mission to encourage others not to be like me. 

Listen, you don’t need to be fluent. You don’t need to know how to conjugate the plus-que-parfait, or even know what that is (spoiler, I do not). But you will have a much better chance of actually interacting with and becoming friends with French people if you can carry on a simple conversation.

Not being able to order a coffee, ask a question in a grocery store, or communicate easily with your doctor will make your life difficult. Yes, it is manageable, and plenty of expats (in Paris in particular) get by without speaking much French. But learning the language will give you a much more fulfilling — and actually French — life.

So, as I embark on my mission of yes-you-should-learn-French-before-moving-to-France, I was thrilled to sit down with Manon, a French YouTuber and language teacher who recently interviewed Stephen and I for her channel.

Manon is the founder of Ohlala French Course and a fluent English speaker who understands the struggle of learning a second language from scratch. One of her programs, French Coffee, is one of the most helpful resources I’ve come across for people who are planning to move to France. Or, those who just want to feel more confident speaking French before they arrive for a trip.

It’s exactly what I wish I had done before I moved to Paris.

The Real Secret to Learning French

Is to speak it. Often. With native French speakers. 

Workbooks, podcasts, grammar guides, and apps like Duolingo can be helpful, but if you’re not speaking French with other people who speak French, you miss the most important piece of the puzzle. If you haven’t noticed it yet, it will become very obvious the moment you get to France. When you aren’t used to practicing, you’ll likely freeze up, forget vocabulary, and may not understand all of the “familiarity” native French speakers use that they don’t teach you in school.

Not knowing the language — or relying too heavily on English — can cause anxiety over phone calls, appointments, going shopping, or even running into your neighbor. I can’t tell you the number of times I have cried over a phone call that went badly because I couldn’t communicate.

On the flip side, when you do take the time to learn and practice, you’ll be able to have wonderful conversations, make new friends, and gain access to a side of France that doesn’t exist when you’re stuck behind a language barrier.

As we say often here at TAIP, it’s all about being curious and willing to try.

French Coffee for Real Conversations and Progress

But Molli, I don’t live in France yet, so how am I supposed to find people to practice French with?

This is exactly where French Coffee comes in. Manon created this weekly (!!) program to give French learners a chance actually to speak. It’s structured like a small, friendly coffee chat, except you get to hone your French skills with peers of the same level, with a native French-speaking teacher there to guide the conversation if needed.

When I asked Manon how she would describe it, she told me it’s “perfect for those who already understand French well, but can’t yet speak with confidence. It’s a warm, well-structured space, and really helps with oral expression.

Each session is held online and is organized by level, so you’ll never feel like you can’t keep up. You can talk about real-life topics with people who have the same level of French as you do in a format that feels casual, cozy, and… dare I say… fun? The groups are small enough that you’ll get plenty of time to speak too.

French coffee isn’t like sitting through a lecture at school, or awkwardly repeating vocab into an app (been there). It’s real conversation practice that will help build your confidence so you feel comfortable enough to speak up once you’re out in the real, French-speaking world.

Manon’s entire platform Ohlala French Course is full of thoughtful resources that range in time commitment and price. French Coffee is a great place to start if you’re moving to France anytime soon.

If you can’t communicate with the people around you, you’ll likely feel isolated and lonely. Moving abroad is already an isolating and lonely experience, so if you can do something to make it feel a little less lonesome, wouldn’t you?

Photo by The Now Time on Unsplash

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an old book with the words 'a french course for schools' written on it

The Mindset Shifts That Helped Me Learn French Faster

Way back in 2014, I moved to France with little more than a couple of suitcases, a dream of living in Europe, and about three words of French. When I first stepped foot off the plane, I had no idea how hard — and how rewarding — learning the language would be. The rewarding piece is important. Learning and then mastering French as an adult is truly one of my life’s greatest accomplishments.

As I went along, something I quickly realized was that my success wouldn’t just come from memorizing vocabulary or drilling myself with grammar quizzes.

It would come from changing how I approached the entire process. 

Here are the mindset shifts that actually improved and then accelerated my French that I hope can help you too.

1. I Embraced Embarrassment Instead of Fearing It

If you’re not new here, you’ve heard me say this about a million times: I’m shy! Even in English, my native language, I tend to lean more towards the reserved side of the spectrum. I used to fight against it, but now I embrace it. Just like I embraced being embarrassed by my French level instead of being afraid to even try. 

When I first arrived, almost every conversation ended in confusion or blank stares — mostly on my end. I got used to pretending to listen and then making an educated guess based on the person in front of me’s body language to determine whether I should respond with a half-hearted oui or non. It worked out about half the time.

Something that really helped me was the French as a foreign language program I took at Nanterre. It was enough coursework to qualify for the student visa, and I was able to learn French with peers at the same level as me. This opened up a whole new world of possibilities because I was no longer ashamed to try and practice — two crucial aspects of learning a new language.

I was always so embarrassed by my accent, but the truth is most French speakers find it charmant and I’ve also started leaning into that, 10+ years on.

2. I Prioritized Progress over Perfection

This is another aspect of learning French that was very difficult for me. I’m a self-proclaimed perfectionist, and honestly? You just can’t hold on to that when learning a new language, skill, or anything else you’ve never done before. If you wait for perfection, you’ll be waiting forever.

So, the next mindset shift involved me pushing perfectionism out of the way so I could keep trying — and be okay with making mistakes as I went along. One of my first big wins in France wasn’t making a flawless speech in front of a room of French speakers. It was being able to order a meal without stumbling over my words, accent or not. It didn’t matter that I may have gotten a verb tense wrong. What mattered was that I was actually communicating in French.

I started telling myself that as long as the person in front of me understood the gist of what I was trying to say, I was making progress. I have to laugh when I think back to some of the very kind people who just let me go on and on, even if I was using the wrong words or conjugations. This shift kept me moving forward even when my French was nowhere near “perfect.”

3. I Leaned into Feeling Uncomfortable

This mindset shift can really apply to the entire experience of moving to a foreign country where I knew no one and didn’t speak the language. And while yes, being uncomfortable most of the time wasn’t always great, the feeling I got on the other side of that was incredible.

My belief is that putting yourself in places outside of your comfort zone will only help you grow. The first time I ever left the US to do my semester abroad was a little scary at first, but the experience went on to change my entire life — something that would have never happened if I stayed in my hometown.

In those early days, every time I spoke French with actual French speakers, I felt super uncomfortable. Is everyone staring at me? Did I use the right verb there? Is my accent so heinous that everyone is trying not to laugh? Of course, thoughts like those crossed my mind, but I had to ignore them to improve.

Straining to pay attention to a conversation is uncomfortable. Making mental notes to remember what to respond is uncomfortable. Not being able to find the word you’re looking for is uncomfortable. Sitting there as everyone easily converses around you while you’re still stuck on something that was said 10 minutes ago… is uncomfortable.

But, I had to go through these moments to learn French. And the good news? I did it. I started feeling much more comfortable after that intensive year of French courses at Nanterre, which, when all said and done, at the end of that, I had already been in France for 3.5 years.

So, yes, it can take time. But, I went over knowing nothing and my first few years were spent in an English-speaking bubble. As soon as I made the commitment to myself to actually study, I saw improvement within just a few months.

And today, 10+ years after touching down to live in France, I can confidently say that I am a French speaker. My husband and I only communicate in French, same with all of my in-laws. Most of my French friends like to try out their English with me, so we end up speaking in a funny franglish or franglais when we’re together, but I get plenty of practice with them too.

I’m able to navigate different accents, converse on a variety of topics, read a French novel, and take care of all of my paperwork myself. Some of that is thanks to years of practice and effort, but a lot of it is also due to the mindset shifts that had to happen in order to improve.

Listen. If I can learn French, anyone can — prove me wrong.

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

Did you enjoy this article? TAIP is 100% reader-supported through tipping. If you want to leave us a tip of any amount it would be highly appreciated.  These tips help support our efforts to keep TAIP an ad-free environment. Just like at a cafe, the tips are split evenly among the team.