French tradition

a small table and chairs in front of a stone building covered in vines

Living the French Life, Wherever You Are

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Something that kept me in France for nearly a decade was my appreciation for the French way of life. There’s no denying that it’s slower and more intentional than the fast-paced ambiance you find in the US. I like to think of myself as an intentional type of person, so it’s not that surprising that I felt so at home there.

Maybe that’s one of the things that brought you to France and ultimately kept you there like me, or perhaps you’ve only ever visited, but are itching to go back and make a real life for yourself there. Either way, you’ll want to get to know Jane Dieu. 

Jane is a UK-born artist and YouTube content creator living in the French countryside with her family. Her channel, Living Well in France, is dedicated to helping people bring more French beauty into their everyday lives. She recently interviewed Stephen and I on her channel, and as soon as we started chatting, I knew her message would resonate with all of you, dear TAIP readers. Especially the many retirees in our audience who are thinking deeply about how they want their next chapter to feel.

Because while yes, I want to encourage everyone of you to live in France, Jane’s philosophy isn’t just about moving there. She urges that you can indeed live like the French wherever you are in the world, and I can’t help but agree.

Life as an Artist in France

Jane lives in a quiet part of France and splits her time between painting and making videos that share what it’s really like to adopt a French lifestyle. Her artwork features detailed renderings of boats and seascapes, inspired by her time working in luxury yacht marketing. She says that during these years she “developed a passion for the beauty and craftsmanship of these vessels” and has since created some very impressive works.

In a handful of her videos, she invites viewers into her studio to watch her paint, talk through creative routines, and share what it’s like to live as an artist in a country and culture that deeply values beauty and craft.

It’s a side of French life reminiscent of what we sometimes read about when exploring the history of artists who made their home there — Van Gogh, Picasso, Monet, and many other greats, to name a few. There’s a reason why artists of all shapes and sizes (including myself) flock to France. The reverence for art, conversation, and the idea that life isn’t meant to be rushed through, but enjoyed, is something that I personally can’t get enough of. And it seems Jane feels the same.

Why the French Lifestyle Resonates

You’ll all remember I moved to France thinking I’d only stay a year, and ended up living there for nearly a decade. When I reflect on why, it was the culture that kept me. The way people make time for themselves and each other. The ritual of long, shared meals. The sense that life is happening right now, and it’s meant to be appreciated in the moment instead of worrying about the next thing on my to-do list.

Jane talks about these same values on her channel: how the French prioritize connection, how they prepare simple but beautiful meals, how they stay active in ways that feel joyful, not punishing. And for retirees, especially, many of whom have already spent years in busy, career-focused environments. This outlook on life can feel incredibly appealing. And incredibly different from what we experience in the US.

Living Like the French Wherever You Are

Jane filled me in that she is working on an online course full of guidance on how to adopt a more French lifestyle without having to pack up and move across the world (unless you want to do that… because you all know I’m all for it). Topics will include everything from learning to enjoy cooking again to rediscovering the art of conversation, choosing a form of movement you actually love, and finding beauty in everyday life.

She also shared that she is developing a second course focused on integrating into French culture, which would be ideal for those planning a move, or folks who are already in France and want to feel more comfortable in their new home abroad. 

I know I personally often struggled with an odd feeling of otherness — like I was almost on the outside of French culture looking in, even after months or years in there (I even spoke about this in a recent taip on tape YouTube episode). Jane’s course will offer a way in, in what promises to be a very thoughtful way.

But, I have to say, what I love most about Jane’s work is that it aligns so closely with what I — and what TAIP — believe in. That French culture has something to teach us, whether we live there full-time or not. That our quality of life improves when we slow down, talk more, and surround ourselves with beautiful things. That aging can be graceful, food can be simple, and joy should come naturally instead of being forced.

You can find Jane’s channel here, and I highly recommend subscribing, especially if you’re someone who’s craving a little more beauty, more ease, and more, well, joie de vivre. She publishes thoughtful videos on everything from painting to aging well, and her recent conversation with Stephen is now live there as well, plus some additional videos with me that will be coming out soon.

Whether you’re already living in France, planning your move, or just want some advice on how to slow down and appreciate life, I know you’ll enjoy it.

Photo by V2F on Unsplash

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blue l'apéritif sign

The Ritual of the French Apéro

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If you’ve spent an extended amount of time in France with actual French people, you know all about the ritual of the apéro — and that ritual is the best word to describe it.

Consistently splitting my time between the United States and France basically ever since I made my big move in 2014, I can’t help but notice and reflect on the cultural differences between Americans and French people. 

One of the many things that the French do right is their attitude around socializing, entertaining, and hosting. The French are inherently social whereas Americans (at least the ones I know and love) are fundamentally individualist — this comes out in so, so many ways — something I would have never figured out if I hadn’t committed to splitting my life in two amongst the two cultures.

After some extended time with my French in-laws over the holidays, it suddenly hit my I-spend-too-much-time-online millennial brain: did the French invent yapping? For my less chronically online readers, to yap is to chat, and boy do the French love to chit-chat. It’s totally normal for a group of friends to meet up around 5pm to begin apéro, only to part in the wee hours of the morning. And what did they do for the past eight or nine hours, you may ask? They talked. And enjoyed their apéro.

The Meaning and History of l’Apéro

Apéro is the colloquial version of the word apéritif, which comes from the Latin word aperire, meaning “to open.” It makes sense — l’apéro “opens” the meal and is meant to stimulate the appetite. 

In the past, apéritifs were herbal or medicinal drinks like fortified wine or bitter liqueurs designed to help digestion. This practice dates back to the Middle Ages, but it grew in popularity with the masses in the 19th century when drinks like vermouth, pastis, and Suze became widely available and enjoyed.

Over time, l’apéro evolved beyond a simple pre-dinner drink into a full-fledged social event. Now, that’s not to say that most French people have parties every night of the week before dinner. My in-laws usually have a beer along with some savory snacks like chips or pretzels (the only time I ever see them snack, really) before dinner when my husband and I come over. They still call it apéro, but it’s not as elaborate.

As the tradition grew, it transformed into a moment of relaxation, conversation, and conviviality that is deeply embedded in French culture. Unlike American happy hours, where discounted drinks and quick socializing are the name of the game, the French apéro is about slowing down, savoring the moment, and participating in some good old-fashioned existential conversation.

Whenever I have evening plans with my French friends, 99% of the time we’re having l’apéro at someone’s apartment. It’s an opportunity to débriefer our weeks, catch up on gossip, and spend time together. Everyone is responsible for bringing something to eat and drink, and it often turns into an apéro dinatoire, in which snack food becomes more substantial so we don’t have to worry about cooking a big meal.

The Unspoken Apéro Rules

As I already alluded to, l’apéro is not about getting as drunk as quickly as you can, so one of the first rules every American should heed is to pace yourself. This isn’t pregaming or predrinks. It’s sipping and savoring. I have never taken shots at l’apéro.

Another unspoken rule I briefly mentioned is that everyone is expected to show up with something. I’ve found this to be true at any French social engagement, and it’s something that isn’t as engrained into American culture: if you’re invited somewhere, you bring something along, even if no one asked you to. My French husband was appalled when I told him, “We don’t really do that in the States.” Now, even when we are in the US, we always bring a little gift and I’m honestly glad we do even though it’s not the norm. People appreciate it.

I digress. The next rule to abide by is to prepare yourself for constant conversation for several hours straight. As the more reserved, American person I am, I have to admit that by hour six or seven I’m usually ready to go home, whereas my husband could keep yapping along for another five. Topics range from things like what’s going on in our day-to-day lives, things we got up to over the week, what’s going on at work, to politics, religion, and, yes, existential topics like life, death, and what happens next. I’m not kidding or exaggerating at all — this level of depth is what I like most about the French, and you really see it come out at l’apéro.

I think the last unspoken rule is to respect the ritual. Again, l’apéro is not a pregame for a wild night out and when done right you shouldn’t have a headache the next morning. It’s a moment to relax after a long day or week, to catch up with friends, family, and loved ones, to enjoy a great glass of wine, to share good conversation, and to bask in the fact that you are where you are without any other place to be. 

I don’t think we have anything like it in the US. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

Did you enjoy this article? TAIP is 100% reader-supported through tipping. If you want to leave us a tip of any amount it would be highly appreciated. These tips help support our efforts to keep TAIP an ad-free environment. Just as at a cafe, the tips are split evenly among the team.