It’s hard to believe that more than a decade of my life has been tied up with France now, and as a two-time immigrant, once to America in my childhood and now to France in my adulthood, there are keys to surviving and succeeding in any immigration process. While mastery of all these keys still won’t guarantee you will feel entirely settled or “at home” in your country of choice, mastery of only 1 or 2 of them signals a countdown to your eventual leaving.

Language

This was less obvious for me on entering the United States as a nine year-old, as I was an English speaker from birth in Singapore. Many are surprised to find out that the US has no official language, but of course, English is the language spoken by the majority of the population. What’s been interesting living in Paris for most of my time in France is the inevitable progress of English in every part of French society, even, to the chagrin of the Académie Française, some years ago, the introduction of English onto official identity cards. But the French are still going to speak French, and if you really want to be part of this country, you’re going to need to learn it.

I’ve spoken in the past about my use of Alliance Française (reasonably priced) and the big leap forward I took at Alpine French School. I couldn’t have known it then, but had I taken the route of so many other English-speakers and stayed in a bubble, I could have permanently stunted my French. There are many, many people (I’ve met them) who have lived in France for 20 years and don’t even have A2 French. Their life is really one of exile, in which they live in a foreign land they happen to love, surrounded by fellow foreigners. Sometimes they colonize entire regions of France, like the Dordogne (which, for history buffs, is connected to land that Henry II of England held, so maybe they are finally just coming home 🙂 ). It’s their life. There is no “right” way to immigrate, as long as you follow the laws of the country in which you are a guest. If people want to retire to the French countryside and never speak French, so be it. But if you really want to be part of France and live with the French, not just among them, get yourself to at least B1.

Friends

The easiest way you are going to make progress in French is to have French friends. We’ve talked about Meetup and other platforms you can use to meet the natives, and you can use whatever techniques you’d like to improve. In my own experience, my French friends are eager to practice their English with a native speaker, so rather than make them my language instructors, I opted for language exchange meetups, in which I would speak French and be corrected by French speakers, and then they would speak English and I would correct them. Once you’ve gotten better here, you can engage in conversations with your French friends and only deal with (usually helpful) corrections every now and then in your conversations.

What the French are conveying to you when you interact with them in their language is who they are and how they were formed. It doesn’t mean that you will like those traits or wish to emulate them (I’ve said numerous times that I will never assimilate to the national sport of complaining, though I now understand the fundamental need for it within current French society) but without being aware of what makes France itself, you’re missing a jewel that is on offer to every immigrant: the chance to reflect on a given way of life and how you might adapt to what best suits you.

Bureaucracy

If you think that dealing with bureaucracy is something reserved for immigrants, you’re wrong. The French have to deal with it too, and they can tell you some horror stories of their own. Even after you get a 10-year card or citizenship, you’re still going to have to deal with bureaucracy. But as long as you understand, as I learned only two years into my journey, that documentation and checklists are at the heart of French bureaucracy, you’ll stop your fear and loathing and just start getting your dossiers together properly and start approaching your appointments with confidence. As for outcomes, well, that’s another story. 🙂

Income

If you are retired and/or have independent means, this doesn’t apply to you, though you should always be consulting with accountants to make sure you’re optimizing your tax strategy. For the rest of us, it’s important to earn money to fund our lives in our new country. While you’re free to work remotely in France, it’s not in and of itself a path to citizenship, and even if you do open your own freelance business in France via Profession Liberale, you’ll need to make at least three times the SMIC for the last couple years before you apply for citizenship. “Economic fragility” is something the French state is concerned about, so as long as you have some way to make the minimum your visa requires, you’ll be able to stay, indefinitely.

Living Situation

I’ve definitely moved my fair share in France, and I have been most content during my time in the 2nd arrondissement and out in Moret-sur-Loing. This does not mean, at all, that I did not enjoy the other places I lived. It just highlights that part of being settled in any country is making sure you really love where you are living. That will usually be more difficult in the earlier years, as not only have you probably just gotten the only accommodations you could find, but you are still learning France and what works for you. I still remember my first visit to Marseille with a friend from Southern California whose mind was spinning while down there about perhaps leaving Paris and coming down to the sunny, olive-oil-and-tomatoes part of France. I’ve been so blessed to have traveled through much of France during my time here, and Paris (and its environs) were the right choice for me, for many reasons.

Final Thoughts

In my earlier years when I was more plugged into the English expat community in France, I was more aware of people who would come and go. “I’m in France forever,” a 22-year-old English student would share breathlessly over apero, only to leave six months later, homesick. “I want to make France my home,” said the San Francisco transplant who gave up a year later when things were just “too hard.” To those who have tried and gone back, I say bravo, for you at least have had the courage to chase your dreams. Finding out that it’s not for you, or that you’re not built to be an immigrant, is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a victory: more knowledge about yourself.

For the rest of you, wondering if you have what it takes, just look at the keys I’ve mentioned above and ask yourself how well-progressed you are in them and how much effort you’re willing to put in to progress in them. What you answer indicates what your future in France may be.

Photo is from the Cremerie on Rue du Nil, one of my favorite food streets in the city.

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