a bookshelf of english and french books

Raising Children — Bilingually? Part 2

Note from the editor: If you haven’t already, be sure to read Raising Children — Bilingually? Part 1 before jumping into Part 2. — MS

Bilingual Native-Language Acquisition

Children who are brought up bilingually will acquire two native languages according to the same processes as children who acquire language in a monolingual environment. 

All children, whether they are brought up in monolingual or bilingual situations acquire language passing through the one-word and two-word stages as they build up language proficiency. However, bilinguals must learn to distinguish between two different streams of language and then develop their language accordingly. 

Whether due to early non-discrimination or to the difficulty of acquiring first words, children in the early one-word sentence stage in a bilingual situation will use either language without differentiation according to whom they are speaking. This is comparable to monolingual language acquisition, where children do not acquire synonyms immediately, sometimes hypothesized as a measure of efficiency in the language acquisition process.  At about the same time as when monolinguals start using synonyms, the bilingually-raised child then begins to use equivalents separately. This means that there should be no fear of a child’s ultimately “mixing” languages as long as caretakers specifically take heed not to mix languages themselves. What children hear, they imitate. 

Brain Studies and Cognition

Studies of brain functioning in bilinguals have been and are still being carried out extensively. After much research into language competence, it is generally accepted that bilinguals have a single, integrated language system. 

Also, “language and cognition may not be processed separately in the brain; instead they interact with and facilitate each other… Bilingualism appears to be associated with more effective cognitive control, particularly with executive control and executive function (EF) abilities.” (Higby et al.)

Experience with two languages tends to lead to greater cognitive efficiency. Bain has carried out a longitudinal study comparing two bilingual children and two monolingual children using cognitive testing as set up by Piaget and Vygotsky, He concludes that the bilingual brain is a better tool for learning. 

Children learning two languages from infancy are not impaired cognitively or academically. It may even be possible to conclude that bilinguals have superior language skills as well as other cognitive abilities as compared to those of monolinguals. For example, it seems the tendency for bilinguals to be better in mathematics than monolinguals might be due to their having learned to handle abstraction from an early age. For a monolingual, the object “bed” and the word /bed/ are bound together such that the word is the thing. Piaget once asked five-year-olds to give him a long word, and many of them answered “train.” On the other hand, a bilingual has learned that the object can be called either /bed/ or /li/; words, which are abstractions, are thus separate from the objects they designate. 

Code-Switching and Interference

That a bilingual’s two languages co-mingle in a single language system where both languages remain continually activated implies possible alternation between the two languages. One language needs to be inhibited when speaking in a context where the other language is being used. This imperfect separation leads to code-switching when bilinguals speak among themselves or to interference when speaking in a monolingual situation. The former refers to using elements of a different language within the speech stream of the language in which an exchange is taking place. In this case, these elements are not affected by the host language. “Interference” is the transference of elements of one language to another at various levels, namely phonological, grammatical, lexical, and orthographical. In this case, the foreign elements are modified to fit the host language (Amenorvi). Alternation in the case of code-switching is considered to be positive as it often refers to language choice; however, interference is viewed as negative as it is often involuntary.

The abundant code-switching observed in conversation between and among bilinguals has led to the recently developed concept of “translanguaging” whereby bilinguals express themselves across languages to best communicate nuances that may not exist in both languages. 

Bilingual communication may lead to what is referred to as “negotiation of language” whereby each participant tends to pull exchanges toward their preferred language. This can often be observed between children preferring to speak in the majority language as they converse with a parent or grandparent whose preference is the minority language. Often when my son came home from French public school, totally immersed in French, he immediately began telling me about his day in French. Pulled in this direction I found myself responding in French until at some point I had difficulty making my ideas clear in this language and wondered why I was even trying to do so. I then switched to English, pulling him in that linguistic direction.

Life-long Bilingualism

As bilinguals grow older their language experiences modify their language use. Language dominance may change over time, as they use one language more than another. They may learn other languages, or they may lose some ability in one of their languages, known as language attrition. Language dominance and attrition are dependent on language exposure and can evolve: more exposure at a given time will improve language ability, reduced exposure can lead to more or less attrition. Losing some vocabulary, for example, in a native language that is not being used, is not unusual and not to be worried about. Increased exposure would bring renewed competence. 

More and more research is being carried out on the relationship between bilingualism and dementia. It would seem that “actively using two languages seems to have a protective effect against age-related dementia.” The lifelong usage of two languages contributes to neuroplasticity and has been shown to delay cognitive decline “with a delayed age at onset of dementia” (Kamenetz). Furthermore, older bilingual adults are better able to cope with the pathology of neurodegeneration. One study shows that should bilinguals with dementia present greater neurodegeneration, their cognitive performance remains comparable to monolinguals with dementia. The hypothesis is that “Bilingualism recruits alternative brain networks to compensate for those that become damaged during aging and dementia (Marian and Shook, 2012). There would then exist a greater cognitive reserve to enhance brain functioning during aging. 

Some Anecdotes

I was very strict in my use of English until my son became much older and we fell into code-switching modes. When visiting friends, I even read French-language children’s books to him in English, at least until the simultaneous translation became too difficult. Once, friends remarked, “We didn’t know we had English books in the house.”

When bicycling in Finland with my two-year-old, and not keeping very regular meal hours, one day my son called out, “Mommy. Eat, mange.” Clearly, he was using every linguistic tool in his possession to cry out his hunger. It was definitely time for lunch. 

Once, when chatting with my neighbors, my three-year-old turned to me and asked, “Can I go to Maryse’s?” I said, “Ask Maryse.” He then turned to her and asked, “Je peux venir chez toi?” After her responding, “Oui,” he turned back to me saying, “She said ‘yes’.” 

When coming home from kindergarten with my son one day, we stopped at a Chinese take-out to get lunch. As the server prepared our dishes, she complimented my son on his bilingualism. I immediately asked her what language she spoke with her own little boy I had seen behind the counter. Looking down and hiding her face she responded, “Mandarin,” as if she were ashamed. I immediately launched into compliments on how wonderful she was to speak to him in Mandarin and the fantastic effects on the brain of being brought up in two such different languages. By the time our food was ready, she was standing much straighter and smiling broadly.   

If any of a child’s caretakers speak a native language other than French in this country, I implore you to speak with them and play with them in your own native language. It can only serve them well.

Photo of our bilingual bookshelf.

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two wedges of cheese and scrabble pieces spelling out cheese and fromage

Raising Children — Bilingually? Part 1

Language choices in a mixed native-language family or one whose native language(s) is not that of the majority culture surrounding them

 

New country, new language, and maybe new family? Language, then, becomes an important issue. When two people get together they fall into what is a comfortable language of communication. However, when children come along, linguistic decisions, what is referred to now as Family Language Policy, need to be made as to their all-important language acquisition.

Some of the important questions to help plan for children’s linguistic upbringing include:

  • What language(s) do the parents speak together where French is the majority language of this relatively monolingual country?
  • What are their native languages?
  • Does one of them speak their native language when they are together?
  • Or do they speak a language of communication that is the native language of neither of them?
  • How well do they speak the majority language?
  • How important is it that the children learn each of the parents’ own native language?
  • And thus, what language(s) will the children be brought up with, and how? 

If at least one of the parents, or grandparents does not speak the majority language as a native speaker, the question of raising children bilingually is brought to the fore. 

Having carried out my thesis on child bilingualism and raising my son to be bilingual such that he has two native languages, this article is a continuation of my decades-long crusade to raise children bilingually in France because bilingualism matters.

Bilingualism as a Native Language

Long before Ronjat’s (the grandfather of child bilingualism) 1913 publication of Le Developpement du Langage Observé chez un Enfant Bilingue he had asked his own professor how to raise a child bilingually. The answer, which was “one person, one language,” has been the recommendation for parents ever since.

“Never switch roles. In this manner they will begin to speak two languages without noticing it and without having to put forth any special effort in learning them” (In: Bain Bruce 1996, p. 177). 

Although there has been some controversy on the subject, it remains that children need to anchor, in some way, a separation of the languages they are learning. Obviously, this differentiation will be inherent in their linguistic environment. For example, one caretaker might speak the majority language (the language of the community outside the home) and the other the minority language (a language different from that of the outside community). There should be no mixing in the caretakers’ language(s) so that the child will learn to keep the languages separate, even though language itself is learned as a whole. 

Raising Children Bilingually in a Monolingual Environment

Until recently, and somewhat even still, the typical attitude in France toward bilingualism (in spite of Ronjat) has been “Against.”

As of 30 years ago and much further in the past at least in the 70’s, when I was writing my thesis, how often was it said that children being brought up bilingually never learn their two languages well, that a second language would negatively affect the child’s French?

Of course, this was all hearsay in a language-political context where the French were defending their language against English as the language of communication. I remember when a very respected researcher in language acquisition, a friend of mine and a direct student of Piaget’s, said when my son was born, “Bilingualism doesn’t really exist.” I did not rise to the argument, but then what will we call it when people speak more than one language fluently? Obviously, she was thinking in terms of perfection; but then, how many monolinguals speak their (only!) language ‘perfectly’? The most widely used definition for bilingualism is Grosjean’s: “bilingualism is the use of two or more languages… in everyday life.” 

In fact, globally, there are more bilingual situations than monolingual ones, typically where in a country more than one language is spoken. This means that France is an exception rather than a rule. And then, when we think of France’s colonization in Africa, it was never asked whether it was good for children to learn French in addition to their heritage language. It was taken for granted that learning French could only be good for them. As Bain suggests, the results of research concerning whether bilingualism is positive or negative can be politically and ideologically motivated.

Language Ability

The question of children’s ability in their two languages is more complex than what has been suggested above.  Bilinguals are not just two monolinguals put together. Their ability in the two languages is rarely equal. Only exceptionally are children what I have heard called “perfectly bilingual,” sometimes called “balanced bilinguals” and which is what Valdes calls “mythical bilinguals.” Typically we will speak of a dominant language, the language the child is most proficient in, and the non-dominant, or weaker language. And even in this case, a bilingual can be more proficient in one context in one language and another context in the other language. 

Bilingualism is not just a question of Linguistics; Sociology and Psychology are also important factors in its development. From a sociological point of view, it is easier to raise a child bilingually French-English in France than, let’s say French-Arabic or French-Swahili. English is considered an “important” language and is encouraged in discrete ways. For example, I have had people stop me in the street with my three-year-old and say how wonderful it was that he would be bilingual.

On the other hand, I have never seen (nor have my students when I asked) people stopping in the street to compliment a mother speaking Arabic, Bambara, or Hindu. On the one hand, the child is receptive to compliments on their language ability, and on the other, parents are discouraged by school teachers to speak a language other than French to their children, especially when it is non-occidental European. And even for English, I was sometimes told to speak French to my child. No way would I listen; furthermore, I would give the person a half-hour lecture on child bilingualism. No one ever made the same suggestion twice. 

Sometimes children, however, refuse the minority language. Typically they are influenced by those around them and do not want to feel “different” from others, or rejected for the home language they might speak. In this case, the recommended course is to stubbornly continue to speak the minority language with the child even when they refuse to answer in that language. This creates what is called “passive bilingualism,” where the child understands but cannot/does not speak the language. The best way to improve competence in the minority language,  and to help the child to become an active speaker, is to take the child to a country where the minority language is spoken as the majority language. What typically happens then, is that the child will pick up the language very quickly, in fact in as little as a few weeks. 

Otherwise, it is important to try to bring the child in contact with people other than the parent who speaks the minority language. Reading to the child in the minority language is very important for language learning. Videos, too, help the child to advance their minority-language learning.

Stay tuned for Part 2, in which doli will cover how age, the brain, and cognition play a role in raising children bilingually.

Photo taken of arguably one of the most important words in French and English.

Did you enjoy this article? TAIP is 100% reader-supported through tipping. If you want to leave us a tip of any amount it would be highly appreciated. These tips help support our efforts to keep TAIP an ad-free environment. Just as at a cafe, the tips are split evenly among the team.

a dining table with glasses and plates

Navigating a Parisian Dinner Invitation

Note from the editor: Parisian for more than a decade, ex-chef turned food tour guide Chef Tris shares his passion for French food and life in Paris on his blog Eat Like the French. Tris has recently joined the TAIP team with the hope of guiding us through the culinary minefields of Paris to ensure you always eat like a local in France. — MS

“I’m never inviting young Americans to my house ever again,” said my wife, her voice tinged with exasperation, as our two new American friends left our Parisian flat. The evening, which began with excitement over a Dungeons and Dragons game, had devolved into a lesson in cultural missteps. This stark declaration was a wake-up call — a reminder that French dining etiquette is an art form, one that demands respect and understanding. I love sharing my passion for French food and the art de la table, and was delighted to write a blog post for TAIP to act as your guide to navigating a Parisian dinner invitation with grace and charm.

The Invitation

It is rare to be invited to a Parisian’s flat for dinner. Some think it’s due to the size of the apartments, while others claim it’s because Parisians much prefer to eat in the plethora of restaurants and bars that the city has to offer. If you’re lucky enough to receive an invitation to a Parisian’s home, the first rule is to RSVP promptly. A swift response shows respect for your host’s planning and reflects your appreciation for the invite.

Punctuality in Paris isn’t the same as in the US. Aim to arrive 10 to 20 minutes after the appointed time — this is known as the petit quart d’heure de politesse, a little buffer to allow your host those final moments of preparation.

Prepping for the Visit

Choosing the right outfit is crucial. Parisians have an innate sense of style — think smart-casual but with a touch of chic. And don’t forget a gift! While flowers are lovely, wine or beer is the norm. If wine seems daunting, especially in a country where it’s an art form, visit an independent caviste. Tell them your budget and trust their expertise to select a bottle that will impress. Champagne is always a hit if you’re unsure, although we prefer pét-nat or crémant for more bang for your buck. Rely on the expertise of your caviste; they all speak English and will offer excellent and honest advice. If children are present, bring something delightful for them — sweets or chocolates, or a unique treat from your home country. My daughter was over the moon with a box of Fruit Loops, a sugary cereal delight from America that struck fear into my wife’s heart.

Whatever you bring will be opened and eaten in front of you because the French think that’s the polite way to do it.

The Arrival

Walking into a Parisian home is an exercise in social grace. The moment you cross the threshold, greet everyone with a warm “bonsoir” and the customary bise — two cheek kisses. This isn’t just a formality; it’s a way to break the ice and show respect. Your host will likely take your coat and offer you a drink. Engage in small talk, and make it a point to remember names. An easy icebreaker is to ask, “How do you know our host?” Avoid the banality of questions about work, as the French work to live, not the other way around.

Dining Etiquette

Dinner in Paris is a dance of manners and tradition. Your host will indicate where to sit, so wait for their cue. Keep your hands visible on the table, but never your elbows. When it comes to serving yourself, take modest portions. It’s polite to leave a bit on the serving plate in front of you, signaling that you’re satisfied but respectful of the host’s effort.

The table may be set with many glasses and different types of cutlery; do not be scared to ask questions if you do not know. My wife’s eyebrows hit the ceiling on seeing one of our guests pour wine into a water glass. What ensued was a long conversation about the glassware and which you should use for what.

Do not be scared to ask questions. If there is one thing every French person I know loves to talk about, it is the food and the traditions around it. Teaching you how to act at a dinner table is something they love, and they will always be happy to educate you.

The highlight of the meal is often the cheese course. In France, cheese isn’t just food; it’s a cultural icon. Treat it with reverence. Take small portions from the cheese board onto your plate using the cheese knife provided, and then put more cheese onto a tiny piece of bread so that the bread acts as a vessel for the cheese, not the other way around.

Never mix different types of drinks in the same glass, especially not wine. If in doubt, don’t hesitate to ask your host for guidance.

The Conversation

Parisians value authenticity and depth in conversation. Be prepared for directness. Parisians will always avoid superficial topics and will always tell you what they are thinking. Engage genuinely, listen attentively, and don’t shy away from intellectual discussions. They can spot insincerity from a mile away, so it’s best to be yourself.

The Departure

When the evening winds down, thank your host sincerely. While a Parisian will never request for you to leave, and an evening at a Parisian’s house may last into the early hours, pay attention to the stifled yawn or the question of how you are planning to get home. The metro rules the transport roof in Paris, so if in doubt, explain you must get the last metro home and ask for advice on how to get there. Before you leave, offer to clean the table or carry a few dishes to the kitchen. A follow-up message the next day expressing your gratitude will leave a lasting positive impression.

Being invited to a Parisian home is more than a social event — it’s an immersion into French culture. With these tips, you can navigate the evening with confidence, leaving your hosts impressed by your respect and understanding of their customs.

Photo by Nils Stahl on Unsplash

Did you enjoy this article? TAIP is 100% reader-supported through tipping. If you want to leave us a tip of any amount it would be highly appreciated. These tips help support our efforts to keep TAIP an ad-free environment. Just as at a cafe, the tips are split evenly among the team.

My Journey to France Part 2

In case you missed Part 1, I’m sharing my unique journey from I’ll-never-live-abroad to nearly-10-years-in-France-and-counting. 

I’m often asked how I did it — and while several of my articles on TAIP touch on how I’ve been able to stay, I wanted to write it all out in a way that could be copied by anyone reading. Okay, maybe not anyone. It took a lot of hard work to build my life here in France, and it isn’t over yet. I’ll be starting my journey to citizenship next, which promises to be full of paperwork and even more determination.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Below I’m picking up where I left off on Part 2: I was an au pair, didn’t want to continue on as an au pair, but didn’t want to go back to the US just yet. Here’s how I figured out a way to stay.

Back to School, It Is

I was always one of those people who said, “Never again!” after finishing my undergrad. It wasn’t that I didn’t like school — on the contrary, I’ve always enjoyed learning — but I was sick of papers and tests and all of the other coursework that went along with it.

Famous last words. As I finished up my second year as an au pair, I didn’t have many options other than the easy-to-obtain student visa. I decided I wanted to get my master’s degree. Public education is cheap here and I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t. This time, however, I was going to study something I was actually interested in, not something that would lead to a job one day.

I settled on French Literature. I’ve always loved reading and writing and I figured I might as well study the greats while I was in the city where many of them worked and lived. The only wrench in my plan? I still, after 2.5 years, could not speak or read French. In my defense, I came over here only knowing the basics, and as an American au pair, I was required to speak English with the children I took care of. At this point, I knew could understand about 75% of what was said to me, but I couldn’t speak back. It was a combination of a lack of vocabulary and confidence.

What’s more, I knew I wanted to go to a public school (again, cheap), and to do so as a foreigner I had to have a certain level of French, with a certificate to prove it. So, I looked around for some programs that would meet the student visa requirement of 20 hours per week. I found two: one at the famous La Sorbonne and one at the also famous Université Nanterre. I missed the deadline for La Sorbonne so that left me with Nanterre.

I applied, got in, looked for housing (and found the deal of a lifetime: I traded 10 hours of English lessons per week for a 9m2 sardine box in the sky), went back to America for a few weeks, got my student visa, and returned to home to Paris. Back to school, I went.

(Finally) Learning the Language

And so began my year-long journey to learning French. I loved my program — and recommend it to anyone who wants to live here long-term — I was the only Anglophone and so the only common language my classmates and I had was (broken) French. Our teachers also insisted that we speak in French instead of our native language. It was difficult, but it also felt like the best place to do it. Everyone had an accent, and everyone was trying to learn.

I met some very kind people, finally learned French, and also discovered more about French culture. We went on field trips in Paris and the Île-de-France region and ultimately all became quite close. Spending 20+ hours per week together will do that.

With my B2 certificate in hand, I was finally ready to apply for my master’s. I still wanted to study French Literature, and so started to look at those kinds of programs. I had a couple of informational interviews at various universities in town, before sitting down with one guidance counselor in particular. 

She looked over my resume and experiences and asked why I didn’t want to study English Literature instead of French. At this point, I had started dabbling in freelance writing and had indicated that on my CV, and well…the whole “native English speaker” thing. I told her it felt silly to come all the way to France only to study English. Mais non! she assured me, and encouraged me to look into English Literature programs instead.

The meeting piqued my interest, and soon the curse of the missed deadline struck again — but it was for the best. Nanterre University, where I completed my French course, had a bilingual English Literature master’s program. Because I was already in their system, it was very easy to apply. I was accepted almost immediately (again, native English speaker), paid my tuition (400 € for the year), and began.

I loved my teachers, loved my program, and bonded with my peers. No, I never wanted to go back to school, but completing my master’s at a French public university was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. I’ll never regret it. 

But Wait, I Don’t Want to Leave

After my two-year program, spoiler alert, I still wasn’t ready to go home. I met my now-husband about halfway through year one and things had gotten very serious very quickly, in true French dating fashion. We were making serious plans for the future. But…what about my visa?

I obtained the APS visa, which gives you a year to look for work after you graduate from a French institution. I did look for a job but I knew I wanted to work in English (even to this day I can’t write in French beyond simply texting), and finding a job that aligned with that was difficult. I had no issue finding Anglophone clients, but there wasn’t a need for full-time English writers in Paris — or at least, the jobs that I found didn’t pay very well.

The APS visa was quickly running out, so what’s a girl in a relationship with a French person to do? The marriage conversation happens. I’m lucky that I was with someone who I knew I wanted to spend my life with, visa issue or not. So, we made plans to quickly marry at the town hall so that I could obtain the vie privée et familiale visa.

Long story short, I did get that visa and so my future in France was secured for life. I’m not saying that everyone needs to meet a French person and marry them in order to stay here (indeed, there’s an entire shady trade in this which we may write about in the future) — there are a lot of other options out there including the profession libérale visa, or even a long-stay visitor visa if citizenship isn’t important — but in my unique situation, my husband is the reason I was allowed to stay.

That’s the gist of it — a couple thousand words on my journey to France. I hope it will serve as inspiration for anyone else who may find themselves thinking, but wait, I don’t want to leave too.

Photo by Salomé Watel on Unsplash

Did you enjoy this article? TAIP is 100% reader-supported through tipping. If you want to leave us a tip of any amount it would be highly appreciated. These tips help support our efforts to keep TAIP an ad-free environment. Just as at a cafe, the tips are split evenly among the team.

French pastries

The Life of a French Pastry Chef

If you’ve been following my life here on TAIP, you know that I got married last year not once, not twice, but a whopping three times (you can read about the first two times here and here). Yes, all to the same person. Who happens to be French. Who also happens to be a professionally trained pastry chef. 

The typical reaction I get when I tell someone what he does is, “Wow! You’re so lucky to get homemade French pastries at home!” I don’t have much of a sweet tooth (pass me a plate of fries over a plate of cookies any day, thank you) but I have to admit I do enjoy having access to homemade croissants, macarons, chouquettes, and more whenever the mood strikes.

The life of a French pastry chef is not for the faint of heart — something I witness on a daily basis because I live with one. What kind of training do you need, you may be wondering? Is it as glamorous as it seems? Is it hard waking up at 1am to go to work every day? Is it worth it?

Let’s find out.

A Baker Does Not A French Pastry Chef Make

I was originally going to call this article The Life of a French Baker but my husband stopped me before I even started. “Je suis pas un boulanger,” he told me. I am not a baker

In France, a baker and a pastry chef aren’t one and the same. The baker bakes the bread and the pastry chef makes the pastries. There’s even a third person you have likely never heard of who is in charge of viennoiseriecroissants, pain au chocolat, etc. — called a tourier

Of course, there are bakeries in France that don’t have all three experts on staff. My husband says that lots of bakers and pastry chefs know how to make viennoiserie, and many touriers can bake bread. Are you still with me?

As you’ll discover if you ever learn the French language, this is a country full of contradictions and exceptions.

Training, Degrees, and Certifications

Like all French people our age, my husband had to have an idea of what he wanted to do as a career by age 15. It’s a bit different these days, but at the time, he had to decide whether to continue on to high school or start a trade school.

He decided to go to Centre d’Excellence des Professions Culinaires (CEPROC) in the 19th arrondissement in Paris to study pastry. At the time, he worked toward le Brevet d’études professionnelles (BEP), a three-year diploma that required him to split his time between classes at school and a job in a local bakery. 

Today, aspiring French pastry chefs have the choice between a certificat d’aptitude professionnelle (CAP) or a baccalauréat professionnel (BAC pro). The former is a degree program like my husband did — he bypassed high school and went straight into culinary school — but that also means he does not have a high school diploma. You have to go to high school if you hope to be accepted into a BAC pro program. 

There are several other certifications you can get as a pastry chef. Le Brevet de Maîtrise Pâtisserie, for example, is the highest diploma a French pastry chef can obtain. 

You could also become specialized in different aspects of pastry. Chocolate, ice cream, and 5-star restaurant-quality desserts are just a few areas you could go into.

All of this being said, you don’t technically need a degree, certificate, or special training to be a pastry chef. Many begin at a very young age and learn as they go. 

The (not so) Glamorous Lifestyle

You may imagine the life of the French pastry chef to be filled with sweet aromas, sneaky taste tests, and constant praise and accolades. It’s not. 

My husband often has to be up at 1am to be out the door at 2am. That means that he has to go to bed around 7pm. Not ideal when you live in a tiny studio in Paris. I don’t have to (or want to) go to bed before the sun goes down so I either need to make myself scarce (and be quiet when I come home) or hunker down in the kitchen so as not to bother my very own sleeping beauty. 

Fortunately, we no longer live in such a small space so this is no longer an issue. At the time I couldn’t help but feel a bit grouchy when everyone told me how “lucky” I was to live with a pastry chef. Don’t get me wrong, I feel very lucky to be with my husband, but living on totally opposite schedules does have its challenges.

Another thing to note is that most French pastry chefs work in local bakeries, not five-star restaurants and hotels. Their salaries are average at best, and seeing as though there is a bakery on nearly every street corner in this country, most French people aren’t super impressed. 

Conversely, every time my husband meets an American they shower him with compliments. They want — need — to know everything about his job. To the outsider and the foreigner, a French pastry chef must live a glamorous lifestyle. They must!

As you can imagine the hubs would prefer to create pastries for people who appreciate it for the art form that it is. For that reason he once worked in a cooking school that catered to English-speaking tourists who are looking to learn more about French cuisine. It was a breath of fresh air. 

So, is it worth it? In true French fashion, my husband says, “mouais” (mmm, yeah). He goes on to say that if you love the craft, then yes it’s worth it. But, there has to be some sort of passion there to make it through all the hard work. 

The next time you’re in a bakery in France, take a few extra moments to appreciate the craftsmanship of what you’re about to eat before you gobble it down. Pay a compliment to the chef — you never know just how much they may appreciate it.

Photo by Valeriano G on Unsplash

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